Sweet brown nectar, why must your mere existence always confuse me? Researchers at the University of Bristol are now saying that regular caffeine intake does not make one more alert, rather it simply returns one back to normal from the withdrawal symptoms experienced in between. Regular morning coffee drinkers appear to experience a minor addiction, which results in overnight withdrawal, leading the sufferer to mistake the stimulating feeling after their next cup as an actual boosting effect of the coffee. Bollacks I say. Give me my morning cup of coffee and stay out of my way, man.

Read more: Coffee no pick me up