Gotta make some dressing and all you’ve got in that fridge of yours is a jar of unopened Mayonnaise from the late 90s, that’s ok, you can still use it!* I know this thanks to Real Simple’s handy guide of expiration dates, taking data from experts and manufacturers, those daring folk have compiled a list of expiration dates that may shock you in more ways than one. For instance, a soft drink in a plastic bottle is best if consumed 3 months from it’s “best by” date, but once opened, it doesn’t really spoil, just tastes like crap.

(* at your own risk)

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Man, I have to apologize already for the title up there, but it was so bad I just had to do it. Soooo yeah, stare at the photo closely. What is it you ask? 2.21 heads of lettuce? Nonononono my friends. What you’re seeing up there is the Iceburg Lettuce safe, sure to be a hot “as seen on TV” seller if I’ve ever seen one! It looks absolutely realistic at distance, is made to be kept in your fridge and features a spacious hidden compartment underneath where you can store your (non-perishable) valuables while you’re on holiday or just in need of a witty place to hide that engagement ring you want to give to your ladyfriend.

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In a recent trip overseas, Prince Charles sent boardroom food execs tumbling out of their posh leather chairs when he brought up the idea of banning McDonald’s while touring a Diabetes center in Dubai. The exchange happened between Charles and a nutritionist, with Charles asking her, “Have you got anywhere with McDonald’s, have you tried getting it banned? That’s the key.”

Charles, who is a staunch supporter of sustainable farming and healthy, organic foods, may still be a little upset over recent events taking place in his homeland, where an 8 year old boy who weighs over 82kg was just returned to his parents who pledge to help him reduce his weight and break his addiction of processed foods through diet and exercise.

McDonald’s of course went on the offensive immediately, touting their recent marketing campaigns and window-dressing as changing the face of one of the worst food providers on the planet.

Read more: Prince ain’t lovin’ it | McSPOTLIGHT