A book detailing the follies of the Bush Administration from an insider’s perspective came out today. Matt Latimer, former speechwriter for George Dubya, has written Speech-less, forcing the ex Administration to shudder and call the author a traitor.

Here’s some of the book’s highlights:

Bush on Jimmy Carter: “If I’m ever eighty-two years old and acting like that have someone put me away.”

While Karl Rove was appearing on Fox News and writing op-eds as an independent political analyst, he was privately smearing Democrats. “Karl spread rumors through the White House that one of Obama’s potential vice presidential running mates — and a United States senator — had beaten his first wife.

‘Karl says it’s true,’ the president assured a small group of staffers.

Then, knowing Karl, the President quickly added, ‘Karl hopes it’s true,’” reports Latimer.

Donald Rumsfeld had to be talked out of editing his own entry on Wikipedia, which he referred to as “Wika-wakka.” He was a Drudge Report reader and used to watch YouTube clips that made fun of his press conference performances.

Bush, when told that Idaho Sen. Larry Craig had been the latest GOPer to be caught in a sex scandal involving boys or men: “What is up with all these Republicans?”

As Bush traveled to Egypt to promote freedom, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice “adamantly opposed” any reference to jailed Egyptian dissident Ayman Nour. She won.

Bush, it turns out, is like millions of Americans: “I haven’t watched the nightly news one night since I’ve been president,” he said.

Under-Secretary of Defense Douglas Feith had rejected a speech from his writer.

“His own writer had failed miserably at drafting some upcoming testimony to Congress,” Latimer said. “Feith was so incensed by the speech’s first line that he read it aloud to me. ‘Mr. Chairman, thank you for inviting me to testify today.’ ‘Thank you?’ Feith snapped, as if he couldn’t believe it. ‘For inviting me’?'”

General Tommy Franks famously called Feith “the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the earth.”

Latimer also discusses the Administration’s idiocy with regard to putting whoopee cushions on people’s chairs in the West Wing as well as Bush’s famous “we’re buying low and selling high!” in response to the government’s purchase of worthless mortgages and securities.

Via GQ, Reuters, and Huffington Post