1950s “Science” Redesigns the Human Body

redesign_human_body

I love classic pseudo futuristic ramblings that are supposed to have a hint of scientific genius. The August 1956 issue of Mechanics Illustrated asks anthropologists, physiologists, engineers and industrial designers how they would go about improving the human body, and here’s what they came up with:

The spine – should be replaced by “a solid column, with a greatly increased load-carrying capacity”

The brain – should be situated in the chest cavity, near the heart, making the chest bigger in size and the head cylindrical

The ribs – rather than individual ribs, organs should be encased in a giant clamshell device, which can be opened easily for surgery

The eyes – add an extra set in the back of the head for a 360 degree perspective

Antennaes – could be concealed in head to pick up low frequency sounds from behind

The teeth – remove 35% of them to give more space to the remaining 65%

The toes – little toes and toenails serve no purpose and should be eliminated

The nose – replace it w/ a short trunk so that the air doesn’t have to make a hairpin turn before going down into the lungs, avoiding “several kinds of sinus trouble and what-have-you.”

Other suggestions included: wings, UV contact lenses, built-in marsupial-style pouches, a food storage compartment, 360 degree neck mobility, an eye in the tip of the finger, a hook on the head so you can hang yourself up and be hands-free on bumpy subways, extra fingers behind the ears to keep hats from blowing off, and folding ears to catch low-pitched sounds.

science_redesigns2

Via Modern Mechanix via Gizmodo

November 12th in 1950s, Anatomy, Funny, Futurism, Human Body, Physiology, Science | | 13 comments
Pirates Take On Land Lubbers Who Abandon Their Pets

pirate_pugs

New Yorkers love their dogs and this past weekend the 5th annual Times Square Dog Day Masquerade raised awareness for homeless and abandoned pets. These two pirates mentioned that people who abandon their pets are gonna have to walk the plank!

More pics at Telegraph.co.uk

October 21st in Costume, Cute, Dogs, Funny, Halloween, Masquerade, New York | | 5 comments
People of Wal-Mart: Brand New Site Catches Those Who Can Only Be Caught in America

Stores like Wal-Mart, Target and Meijer attract a wide-range of individuals, some of whom wear stunning outfits, bringing one to ponder how they got to where they are and what they consider when dressing themselves. A brand new website – peopleofwalmart.com – displays the best of the best in down-home fashion and nuttiness that really can only be found in the states. From Tony the Tiger to shopping goats, from Wal-Mart weddings to hog-tied naked guys, I laughed for an hour straight (partly due to the absolutely hillarious captions they’ve included for each photo).

peopleofwalmart

September 17th in Crazy, Funny, Insane, People, Pictures, Redneck, Wal-Mart, White Trash | | 10 comments
Cat Slides into Carton, Gets Stuck, Slides Again

Alright, I’m not a fan of pets doing cutie things, but I laughed out loud several times while watching this cat try to slide into tube-shaped cartons. The way his back legs feather out on the floor like a baseball player sliding into home plate as he tries to squeeze into two cartons at once…makes me wanna have a pet again.

September 15th in Carton, Cat, Crazy, Cute, Funny, Pet, Slide | | 4 comments
Have Tea with the President, the Queen, or Putin

“Relax with a cup of tea in the bosom of the leading politicians.” Donkey Products in Hamburg has come up with another fancy, letting you enjoy a tea with your favorite strippers, presidents or royals. Five tea bags per set from the makers of hand-gun soap!

Via DirectDaily

August 29th in Cup of Tea, Donkey Products, Funny, Presidents, Royal Family, Strippers, Tea | | 3 comments
MacGyver Chef: Concoct a Meal in a Coffee Maker

They’re calling him “MacGyver Chef.” Gizmodo’s Dan Nosowitz is attempting to cook ordinary meals in not-so-ordinary appliances – ie all meals are prepared without an oven/range. Poached chicken and couscous in a coffee maker? MacGyver Chef did it, but unfortunately his dishwasher steamed salmon with cilantro sauce didn’t come out so well. How about a vegetarian option, MacGyver Chef?

Via Gizmodo

August 28th in Chicken, Coffee Maker, Crazy, Food, Fun, Funny, Kitchen, MacGyver Chef | | 3 comments
Man Avoids Missing Flight, Calls in Bomb Threat to Airport

A Delhi man, stuck in traffic and scared he was going to miss his flight, realized that in order to delay the plane long enough for him to reach the airport, he would have to call in a bomb threat. Apparently he didn’t realize that such calls from cell phones are easily traceable, or that those persons in close proximity (ie his taxi driver) can overhear what’s being said.

Via APP

August 26th in Airport, Bomb Threat, Crazy, Flight, Funny, India, Traffic | | 4 comments
The Family Guy Episode That Will Never Be Aired, Abortion Episode Read Live By Cast

Though banned by the FOX network, that didn’t keep the cast of The Family Guy from reading the script of the abortion episode to a live audience.

And here’s an interview with Seth McFarlane about the episode

Via THR.com

August 16th in Abortion, Family Guy, Funny | | 11 comments
FOX’s Glenn Beck Confused About State-Run Health Care

Anyone who’s seen FOX’s Glenn Beck knows that he is often confused, but even this rant over health care threw us for a loop. We Americans living in Europe (under mandatory state-run health care) find statements like, “America already has the best health care in the world…” pretty amusing (especially those of us who weren’t insured in the States because we couldn’t afford it).

But wasn’t there a time when Glenn himself detested the U.S. health care system?

August 14th in Daily Show, Funny, Glenn Beck, Health Care, Jon Stewart, USA | | 4 comments
The Best Worst Movie of All Time – Troll 2 Documentary

Zapping thru the channels back in 1994, friends and I joyfully discovered Troll 2, which has since that moment been the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Though the costumes were horrible, the dialogue stunk and the acting was painful to watch, this movie still had something that kept us glued to the set. I even ordered the DVD a couple of years ago remembering how bad (hillariously good) the movie had been.

I guess my friends and I weren’t the only ones who found this movie delightful despite its negation of quality. A documentary film, Best Worst Movie, has just been produced. And surprisingly, it seems to be drawing huge crowds. Maybe this really wasn’t the “worst film of all time” as IMDB claimed…

Troll 2 Trailer from 1990

Via Best Worst Movie

August 3rd in Classic, Crazy, Documentary, Funny, Movies, Troll 2, Worst | | 4 comments

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